Tuesday 5 February 2019

Happy Lunar New Year 2019.

Once every few years I go on a long trip travelling. The destination does not really matter but more of the journey of travelling, the type of travel, the adventure of the unknown and the thrill of just being alone again disconnected from reality for a few months or years.

This is my third time now spending the Lunar New Year alone. The first time was very lonely and I wondered why I curse myself into this state when everyone is with family and friend and I have deliberately detach myself stretching the little bonds I have even further by being away. 

The second time was more easier as I knew what to expect and I would plan the time to be somewhere amazing, exciting to kick start the New Year.

The third times the charm they always say and I find myself back to the state of being alone deliberately secluding myself in quiet rustic small town Chaing Khan, Thailand.

The time for reflection is the state of my mind in this holiday season and not just the Lunar New Year but more or less started just before Christmas continuing on during the Near Year, my own Birthday and finally Lunar New Year. Reflecting on everything in life that has been and my current drifting status and what will the future be.

I realized one thing for certain. I enjoy being alone to a certain extend or as someone told me, I enjoy loneliness quite a lot. I know that it may seem that I take the bonds with family and friends a little too lightly, the selfishness in me of always putting my own needs first, thou I do not demand much from others, I know that at times my desperate cling to freedom resisting all kinds of commitment will feel like someone that is not quite there when needed.

Nevertheless, thou I do not express much affection outwards, I do cherish the bonds of family and friends and even if most wont realized it, to me although a very long and loose bond, it is pretty much unbreakable in my mind.

Somethings I have also been thinking a lot lately while being alone .... Buddhism has always been about moderation and in some extreme way Buddha’s solution for peoples sufferings was to teach people not to have attachment. 

Without attachment to anything there will not be any suffering as nothing is meaningful anymore hence attaining inner peace.

That said, what is the key to happiness ? Can someone be happy without having attachments ? I wonder if there is a missing part to this form of happiness for while not suffering is a good first step to living life, living an empty life is also not living. Something to ponder for the future.

Happy Lunar New Year 2019

Sunset in Chom Thong - Thailand 

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